Chapters

As I reflected on my year, I thought about the things that made 2022 different for me than any other year. Some of the unique accomplishments for my year were joining my first book club and reading more books than I ever have in a single year. Being in the book club introduced me to new genres and helped expand my vision and enjoyment through reading. I had been pretty stuck in the self-help genre, and the book club opened my eyes to fiction again and how much can be learned from stories too. Several were books that I couldn’t put down and couldn’t wait to get back to. I found myself thinking about the characters and their journeys even after I had finished some books. I thought about how each book is written with such intention and care and how each chapter brings on new developments, sometimes good, sometimes hard, for the individuals. We can find the elements of a story in the chapters of our own lives. The chapters that make up our story contain experiences that can teach us and help us grow. Our Heavenly Father can teach us big lessons through day to day experiences. Our chapters and their elements make up our story, the whole of who we are. 

Setting

The setting of a story includes the time and place in which it is told. I think it is by design that we were each sent to earth when we were and where we were. And I don’t think that it's a coincidence that we find our lives crossing paths with specific people. The setting in which you currently find yourself is not by accident. 

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “The same God that placed that star in a precise orbit millennia before it appeared over Bethlehem in celebration of the birth of the Babe has given at least equal attention to placement of each of us in precise human orbits so that we may, if we will, illuminate the landscape of our individual lives, so that our light may not only lead others but warm them as well.”

We can impact the settings that we are in. Once we decided to try to grow our family, I became so aware of the setting and environment that I was creating for our hoped-for future child. It changes you knowing that everything you’re doing isn’t only impacting you. I began to pay close attention to the food I was eating, the activities I was choosing to participate in, and the level I was exercising. I was living with someone else always in mind. I had the thought during this time, “What if I was always this aware and careful about how my actions were impacting the people around me?” The things we do, the things we say, they impact the people close to us and it matters. I wanted to try to create a better environment for growth and thriving throughout my life, within me and outside me as well. We all have the power to create environments and settings within ourselves and around ourselves that can better the lives of others. 

Characters

The characters and their relationships make up the heart of a story. Similarly, people and relationships are the heart of our lives. In a story, there is purpose for each character that is introduced, and I think the same is true for the people who come and go in our lives. 

Some people come into your life only for a chapter or two, but they can still make a lasting impact. On the summit night for Kilimanjaro, they assigned each of us our own guide. Throughout the week, we usually had 2 guides with our group of 10, but on summit night, we each had our own. The guides had told us that their main goal was to help us achieve our dream of making it to the top, and they would do everything in their power to help us get there. The summit night was around 8 hours of hiking, starting at midnight and getting to the top around sunrise. It was steep, cold, and dark. They told us that during that final climb, your guide would likely offer to take your pack, and not to be shy about taking them up on it. They also said they would suggest that we put on extra layers if they think we needed it. They were watching us closely to help us succeed. I reluctantly let my guide take my pack part way up, and I put on another layer when he suggested it. These two things helped me get to the top. I was so impressed by these guides, who took the time to know us by name, serve us, and give of themselves knowing they would only be with us for 6 days. They couldn’t take the steps for us, but they did everything they could for us. 

At times I have found myself mourning the loss of a friendship or of one fading in my life when it used to be strong. I have found comfort in accepting the role those friendships played and the purpose they fulfilled in my life while I had them. 

Some characters come and never leave. These people can come into your life at any time. I think it’s a shame if we don’t stay open to new friendships. I’m a big believer in one-on-one time. It can be so hard to make time in our busy lives, but from my experience, there is no better way to strengthen a relationship and feel closer to someone than this. After my mission, I went back to Utah State and started over with roommates who were all strangers to me. We quickly created kind of a tradition we called, “cereal before bed”, where often a couple of us would stay up late eating cereal together and just talking. I can honestly say that those were some life changing cereal chats for me. They helped me feel close to these people I had just met and feel supported in a hard transition time. One of them is still one of my closest friends over 8 years later. 

Plot

Plot is kind of a fun one because it has to do with the author setting up events in a specific order for a specific reason to lead the reader through their story. The events build on each other so that the characters can arrive at the lesson they need to learn. In our stories, we don’t get to fully understand the “plot” until we are able to look back. Steve Jobs said, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” I’ve seen some different examples of this throughout my year.

Example 1: Details that seem small at the time become a bigger part of something later. In September we went on a trip to Europe. Rob’s parents took us to the airport, and Rob’s mom was super sweet packing us each a couple pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. This seemed like a small, thoughtful gesture, but ended up being so much bigger for me as we found ourselves stuck in the Amsterdam airport overnight with mice running around after a missed flight due to 3 ½ hours in the security line. As silly as it sounds, the comfort I felt eating those cookies made me feel like it was all going to work out and be okay. 

Example 2: Something that seems like a curse becomes a blessing. For a well drilling project at work, we were using a dirt road access off of a main road to get to the site. We had been using it for months when the property owner told us that they were going to put a large berm up through our access because random people had been dumping their old couches and junk on their property. We would now have to access through a gate that was only open certain hours of the day or through another gate that would need to be locked at all times outside of trucks going through it. We understood the need for the berm, but it was still unwelcome news as it was going to make things more complicated and inconvenient for our contractor and anyone else trying to visit the site. A couple weeks later, while pump testing the well, one of the pipes broke in the middle of the night, and the contractor didn’t realize it until it had flooded an enormous area of the surrounding land. The berm they had just recently installed kept the water from going out onto the city streets and causing issues with traffic and surrounding businesses. The berm ended up making what could have been a huge disaster, really manageable.

Example 3: The character goes through a series of events to end up realizing that they’ve had what they needed all along. On the same fall Europe trip, we spent time in Greece. On our last night there, we went out to find a place to eat for dinner. We walked past the Skampus Grill, which was right by our Airbnb, and headed into the main town square. After an attempt to get seated at a busy restaurant, and waiting forever for a waiter to come at another, we looked up reviews on Google and found that the Skampus Grill actually had great reviews despite its cheap-looking, fluorescent sign that had turned us away from it. We ended up eating there and had a great meal. 

Example 4: The character has a moment of reflection and gratitude for all they’ve been through and where it led them. One day we were doing a bunch of yard work. Rob was mowing the lawn and trimming branches, and I was picking up rotten apples out of the lawn out back. I had this distinct moment and thought, “I waited years for this.” It was kind of a funny thought to have while doing chores, but I had waited years to find the right guy and have a house and backyard with rotten apples to pick up. I had this distinct gratitude that the events of my life had led me here, and despite some rough times, it had all been worth it to be in the simple place that I was. 

Conflict & Resolution

I love this quote I came across while reminding myself of the elements of a story, “While all the elements of a story are crucial, conflict is the one that makes your story interesting and engaging.” (https://prowritingaid.com/story-elements) Is that not so true for our lives? Looking back, it is clear to me that I have learned the most from the conflict and hardship in my life. 

I’ve often thought about this principle while rock climbing. Sometimes you end up on a climb where you are just struggling on the wall. Each move feels like a triumph as your partner slowly helps you inch your way up the wall, sweating, heart pounding, barely hanging on. Your grip and forearm strength are weakening. You’re tempted to come down, but with patience and time, you make your way to the top. It’s not pretty, but you’re stronger for having tried it. You’re stronger than if you chose an easier route. You’re stronger than if you were just done for the day. You’re stronger for the next time you climb. 

My mission president would often say, “There are no curve balls to Lord”. Sometimes we feel blindsided by things, but they are not surprises to Him, and He is there to help us through them. One of the bigger challenges I faced this year was unexpectedly being told that one of the fitness classes I had been teaching for almost 2 years was being changed to something else, and I only had one more week to teach it. This may seem like a small thing to most people, but as a fitness instructor, you work so hard to get a class, to prepare each week, and you grow close to the people who come. That same week I had a challenge at my full time job and a few other things happened that left me feeling like I was getting hit from every angle and like I was a huge failure. Here are a couple entries I wrote during that time:

“I know what I want for me, but it might not be what God wants for me. I have a good, happy life and have no doubt it can continue to be that way if I trust fully in my Heavenly Father and His love for me.”

 “I just have to rely on knowing that every time something has happened not according to plan, things have always been okay and worked together for my good in one way or another. God has my best interest at heart and will help this setback become something beautiful. I have been rallied around and supported. That love is irreplaceable. One amazing thing about trials is the support you feel from the people in your life. I’ve had doors unexpectedly open for me as suddenly and surprisingly as I’ve had them closed. This class is going out of my life as suddenly and surprisingly as it came into my life. Sometimes we get caught off guard by bad, but sometimes we also get caught off guard by good and I suppose they balance each other out in some ways.” 

“Even though it’s been bad, the bad has been outshined by the good.” 

Just a couple weeks after teaching my last class I found out I was pregnant. There is no way I could have continued to teach a 6 AM class with how tired I got and how much sicker I felt in the mornings. I was able to get another evening class at a different gym so that I could continue to teach twice a week. Choosing to drop that 6 AM class would have been so much harder on me than having it taken away. I had written that I knew God would take care of me, and He certainly did. Abraham 2:8 states, “My name is Jehovah, and I know the end from the beginning; therefore my hand shall be over thee.”

Theme

Theme is the last and final element I want to touch on. The theme is the “why” behind the story. There are books that can make you cry at times, laugh at times, and make you really feel something. They can make you look at your life and reflect and change. Stories can make a real impact. So what are the themes of your overall story? What are the “whys” of your life? At the end of the day, what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? The themes that we hope to have for our lives should be part of each chapter, coming through in our day to day thoughts and actions. 

During a trying time in my life, I went to the temple for peace. While I was there, I had the most distinct thought that said, “Your life is a beautiful combination of all things good.” As I reflected on it afterward, I kept having the thought that I’d been through some pretty tough things in my life that definitely were not good. I felt prompted to add a couple words to the end of it, “Your life is a beautiful combination of all things good for you.” I truly believe that everything that is part of each of our stories can make us a better person if we choose to learn from each chapter and lean on Christ. Our stories, our lives, are a beautiful combination of setting, characters, plot, conflict, resolution, and themes that help us reach the potential that God sees in us.